DON’T FORGET TO CONSUME, AND CONSUME TO FORGET

Could Christmas come at a better time?

Trump is President, the world is melting, the alt-right is on the rise, ignorance is rife, refugees are freezing on the streets, bombs keep falling, Russia keeps grinning sadistically at me, Yemen is on the brink of collapse, North Korea keeps blowing stuff up, people are starving, old people are dying in their homes because they can’t afford warmth, France and Germany struggle with promises they’ve made, the dollar is falling, the pound is falling, growth is stalling, IS keeps fighting, America keeps droning, people are arguing over fish, Europe is set to arm itself to the teeth, the Middle East is on the brink of collapse, Turkey is on lock-down, did I say the world is melting? 7 degrees temperature rise, Britain’s economy is about to shit itself, Hey, says Putin to Trump, can I have Estonia? Where’s Estonia? asks Trump, robots are going to take your job, they’re going to take my job, the air is going to get so poisonous you can’t leave the house, so you’ll have to get a robot to do it for you, all the puffins are dying, all the bees are dying, people keep digging, people keep mining, people keep stealing, and dying, and moaning with inaction, and you know what?

It’s Christmas.

Don’t worry about all this.

Go tell your family you love ’em.

And don’t forget to consume, and consume to forget.

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