Jeremy Corbyn was slammed by the media this week for suggesting a maximum wage cap. Corbyn always seems to be on the wrong end of the media. “He’s totally nuts,” everyone says. “What an idiot,” they say. “Bless him,” they sigh.
And they’re right.
HOW DARE HE SUGGEST SUCH A LUDICROUS IDEA.
HOW DARE HE CHALLENGE THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM.
Sorry, sorry. Fair enough, media. You guys are right. I do hope you take that fat cheque home in the back of your Rolls Royce, in-case a nurse driven to madness tries to steal it off you to feed the children starving in their hospital beds.
Now, I’m not suggesting I’m in favour of a maximum wage cap. Or even a basic income.
Not yet, anyway.
Not in a world that hasn’t yet comes to terms with the fact that in fifty years their useless existence will be basically obsolete, with their sole purpose on earth to consume a world manufactured by the rich serviced by artificial intelligence. Maybe then everyone will start to understand the issues we face.
But not yet.
Not in a world that votes for Trump, not in a world where people listen to what he has to Tweet, not in a world that still fights over medieval religions, not in a world where people blindly follow everything they read or see on the internet, a world in which people forget quickly, learn slowly and get fat.
In all theories ever presented on the concept of a maximum wage, it sounds idyllic, right? All those bastard bankers can’t earn anymore ridiculous sums of money? Some of it could be shared around, you know, deal with the rise in mental health issues in the country?
It’s Utopian in theory, but literally an insane and harebrained scheme when put into practice.
Imposing a wage cap on the financial sector means the money leaves the country. When the money leaves the country, it leaves the rest of us in a very poor situation. We are one of the rocks on the trickle-down waterfall, and if there’s nothing trickling down, we’ll all get very crusty and dry.
Cuba has a maximum wage. Of $20 a month. Yes. That’s right. A vote to pass a maximum wage cap in Switzerland, just about the most intensely tight-knit country on the planet (excluding perhaps your ultra-communist states) , gained only %37. They’re the Swiss! The “lets all get along together, and be happy, EXCEPT WITH YOU, NOT YOU, GET OUT,” people.
But the premise of a maximum wage cap is such a nice one. It’s “mental,” it’s definitely “mad,” but my god, isn’t it time we heard something different? Something that directs us to the real source of all our problems?
THIS IS ALL THE BANKS FAULT.
They took all our money. Now we’ve got none left.
You can blame Brexit on the banks. You can blame Donald Trump on the banks. You can blame funding cuts for the NHS, mental health services and elderly care on the banks. Mass shootings, wars, climate change.
They’re doing alright, right? You seen any bankers found dead, electrocuted, on the floor of a prison cell? Have you?
Bonuses go up, the money keeps spinning, whilst the rest of the country slams it’s head repeatedly into a brick wall.
Theresa May with her empty fucking platitudes.
“BETTER TOGETHER,” “WE’LL WORK TOGETHER TO BEAT MENTAL HEALTH STIGMA,” “LOOK AT MY SHOES!”
She sneers, hitting the button that snaps away the cash from struggling men and women across the country. What can she do? She’s not in control. None of them are. The money comes in, the money goes out, she can’t possibly tap the giants on the shoulder and say, “E-excuse me? Could we just – just have that tax-? Oh. You’ve gone. I see. Well, I suppose we better fuck over the poor and give some more money to the banks so they can sort all this out. Cheerio.”
In the mean-time, she says to her bored looking cabinet, (they’re scrolling through their phones, thinking of their next holiday), “Lets fund an anti-stigma campaign in schools, that’ll do the trick. Make sure everybody is very nice about mental health issues, make sure everyone is very aware of mental health issues.”
That’s super May, but totally misdirected. 6,000 fewer nurses cannot be matched with a few extra hundred pounds thrown at a school to help promote awareness of mental health.
And why can’t she afford those 6,000 nurses?
It beggars belief. It really does.
GOD FORBID SOMEONE SHOULD SAY SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT.
CORBYN, YOU’RE MAD.
NOTHING YOU SAY WILL EVER WORK.
BUT THANK FUCK YOU’RE SAYING IT.